● Book notes · Night 2 · 17 Oct 2026

All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.

The second night of The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. Why you dislike yourself, where inferiority comes from, and why life is not a race. Alfred Adler's answer, on one page.

The one questionWould this still hurt if I were alone in the universe?
Lesson 1 · The root

Every worry has a person in it

Alone in the universe, you would not feel short, poor, lonely or slow. Those feelings need someone to compare with. So every problem is a relationship problem.

→ Find the person behind the worry
Lesson 2 · Self-dislike

You dislike yourself on purpose

The young man lists his flaws. The philosopher says he focuses on them so he has a reason to avoid people. If you dislike yourself, nobody can reject you first.

→ Ask what self-dislike protects
Lesson 3 · Inferiority

A feeling, not a fact

The philosopher is short. He felt bad about it until a friend said his height puts people at ease. Same height, new meaning. Inferiority is a judgement you make, not a measurement.

→ Use the feeling to grow
Lesson 4 · Complexes

Excuses and bragging

An inferiority complex says "I can't, because…". A superiority complex brags, name-drops or shows off its misfortune. Both hide the same fear.

→ Drop the "because"
Lesson 5 · No race

Life is not a competition

Walk on flat ground. Some people are ahead, some behind. Compare with your ideal self, not others. Then other people stop being rivals and become comrades.

→ Be glad when others win

Adler's three life tasks Night 2

1WorkEasiest. A shared goal holds people together.
2FriendshipHarder. No duty keeps you there.
3LoveHardest. Closest and deepest bond.

3 ideas the book throws out

  • "I just hate myself." It is a way to avoid being hurt.
  • "Their faults ruined it." You decided to leave, then found faults.
  • "I must beat them." Life has no finish line to cross first.

The life-lie

  • Dodging a life task with an excuse.
  • Blaming someone else or your situation.

Not good or bad. Just a lack of courage.

All 13 chapters of Night 2 tap any

  1. 01Why you dislike yourself
  2. 02All problems are interpersonal relationship problems
  3. 03Feelings of inferiority are subjective assumptions
  4. 04An inferiority complex is an excuse
  5. 05Braggarts have feelings of inferiority
  6. 06Life is not a competition
  7. 07You're the only one worrying about your appearance
  8. 08From power struggle to revenge
  9. 09Admitting fault is not defeat
  10. 10Overcoming the tasks that face you in life
  11. 11Red string and rigid chains
  12. 12Don't fall for the "life-lie"
  13. 13From the psychology of possession to the psychology of practice

Monday morning: situation → Adler move

A friend's business takes off and you feel sickLesson 5Not a race. Congratulate them, then look at your own last year
"I'd apply, but I don't have the degree"Lesson 4That's the "because". Apply anyway
A colleague mentions famous clients at every meetingLesson 4See the fear under the bragging. Don't compete
You suddenly can't stand how your partner eatsLife-lieAsk if you decided to pull away first

Want the full story?

Page 2 has the young man's self-dislike, the philosopher's height, both complexes, life as no race, the life tasks and the life-lie, plus key words, a 7-day practice and FAQ.

Read the full story →