● Book notes · One page · 8 Oct 2026

The courage to be disliked. Five nights, one page.

Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga teach Alfred Adler's psychology as a talk between a philosopher and an angry young man over five nights. Here is the whole argument at a glance.

The one questionWhose task is this, mine or theirs?
Night 1 · The past

Deny trauma

Your past does not push you. Your goals pull you. A man who stays home "because of anxiety" made the anxiety to stay home.

→ Ask what your excuse is for
Night 2 · Other people

All problems are relationships

Feeling short, poor or slow hurts only next to someone else. Life is no race. Stop fighting to win every argument.

→ Compare to your old self only
Night 3 · Freedom

Separate the tasks

Who lives with the result of this choice? That person owns the task. Their opinion of you is their task, not yours.

→ Stop chasing approval
Night 4 · Belonging

Equal, not above

You are part of the world, not its centre. Treat people side by side. Praise and scolding both talk down from above.

→ Say thank you, not well done
Night 5 · Now

Live here and now

Life is a string of moments, a dance, not a climb to a summit. Each step done well is already complete.

→ Put the spotlight on today

Three steps to feel worth Night 5

1Self-acceptanceAccept what you cannot change. Change what you can.
2Trust othersTrust with no conditions, even when it gets used.
3ContributeFeel useful to someone. That feeling is your worth.

3 ideas the book throws out

  • Trauma decides you. You give past events their meaning.
  • Praise helps. It trains people to live for applause.
  • You must be special. Being ordinary takes courage too.

The task test

  • Who ends up with the result?
  • Mine: do it fully, own it
  • Theirs: offer help, do not force

You bring the horse to water. Drinking is the horse's task.

Monday morning: situation → Adler move

A client did not reply to your proposalNight 3Their task. Send one follow-up, then move on
A rival firm wins a deal you wantedNight 2No race. Measure against your own last quarter
"I'll start the course once things calm down"Night 1Name the goal behind the delay. Start this week
Your junior hands in good workNight 4Thank them for the help, skip the grading tone

Want the detail?

Page 2 has each night explained, the key words, Adler's life tasks, daily practice and a FAQ.

Read the full notes →